Melbourne locals, I’m sure you’re no stranger to the clash of North Side vs South Side. Perhaps it’s the divided opinions of the mullet, who has better coffee, or debates of whether St Kilda beach is safe to swim in.
If you have reason to travel between both territories (it would seem), for work, family, or a partner, you’ve seen what both Melbourne’s Northern and Southern suburbs have to offer. Those who don’t have such travel incentives often CBF to venture into an unfamiliar neck of the woods.
Yet, in these post lockdown times, where we can experience our beloved Melbourne as we please, why is crossing the Yarra for a pot and Parma still a drama?
We’ve created a list of the most magnetic venues North and South side, that will pull you and your mates outside of your post code comfort zone, and will attract you to new flavours and experiences. For even the most difficult to lure from their urban bubble.
Here’s some doozies of the South that will WOW North siders:
Jungle Boy
96 Chapel St, Windsor 
Pull back the fridge door at Boston Sub, an American sandwich shop on Chapel Street, and you’ll step into another world. Like Narnia, but with booze and mood lighting.
Jungle Boy is a hidden tropical tiki bar with range of cocktails that will cool off the humidity the aesthetic will convince you of. Jungle Boy is perfect for small groups, or intimate occasions, with cosy lounges, sociable barstools and a leafy beer garden for you and your fronds.
This bar is a secret that you invite your mates in on, but there’s no promise they’ll keep it to themselves.
202 Barkly St, St Kilda
Right where Barkly and Acland meet, lies the Village Belle Hotel. A true icon of St Kilda, that boasts the most desirable features of the south. Lively crowd, bustling environment, sun filled spaces and all year beer garden. With recent renovations, the Village Belle is modern, spacious and fit for a ball.
Enjoy a feed in their sociable Public bar or Garden bar, from hearty pub classics to light nibbles to suit your taste. Upstairs, you’ll find The Doulton Lounge, with a ritzy cocktail bar for intimate sips. Friday and Saturday nights see the Doulton Lounge take it up a notch as a hot party spot that rings well into the night.
173 Chapel St, Windsor
Borsch, Vodka and Tears will woo anyone starved of a good meal and a strong drink.
Boasting delicious eastern European cuisine, from Polish dumplings, Hungarian goulash and, of course, as their namesake so obviously suggests, borsch.
Borsch, Vodka and Tears offers a variety of Vodka and rare liqueur tastings, in complimenting trios, from Clear Vodka for Beginners to Tears of my Enemy (dw the tastings come in half shots). Twoje zdrowie!
Enjoy the evening people watching Chapel Street from their outdoor seating or cozy up in the atmospheric, old world cocktail bar inside.
Rear, 202 Carlisle St, Balaclava
Monk Bodhi Dharma in Balaclava, captures what vegetarian and vegan food should be:
Fresh, bright, and satisfying.
A bit of a hidden wonder, MBD is located behind the Woolworths carpark off Carlisle Street. This spot makes Monk totally unassuming, but what you will find upon entry is a wholesome and relaxed breakfast spot. With large communal seating inside, perfect for groups, there’s also the option to kick up a crate, where many locals and their furry friends often perch and enjoy their coffee in the sun.
Soak up the peace, love and Monk beans.
South siders, welcome aboard the North side train:
(or should we say tram?)
The Grace Darling Hotel
114 Smith St, Collingwood
The Grace (as the North siders call it), is a versatile spot, fit for dinner, work drinks, seeing a gig, or a pleasure-seekers night out.
The Grace has a ground floor public bar and candlelit dining area, with social outdoor seating off Smith Street. Upstairs sees a second bar, band room and dining areas equipped with fire places for a cosy catch up. There’s also an additional bar in the basement (AKA the Gracement) where you can enjoy underground music acts and art shows, or book private functions.
The Grace is an understated classic, offering a traditional pub menu with a modern flair that adds a touch of fine dining with you pint.
274 Johnston St, Abbotsford
Trendy café by day, and an energetic bistro and bar at night, Dr Morse offers all pleasures to see you through from espresso to espresso martinis. Piquant dishes on the breakfast menu keep the place bustling through to the PM, where the bistro serves home style classics with a voguish twist.
With a large, leafy outdoor seating area, it’s a perfect spot for a sunny brunch or taking turns sharing rounds of drinks. Thursday – Sunday sees the outdoor area turn beer garden and dance floor with DJs, live music and parties. Your selling points to get your mates off Chapel and onto Johnston, are many.
132 Wood St, Preston
No sweet tooth could refuse the allure of Eat Cannoli, whether you’re north, south, east or west. Specializing in, you guessed it, cannoli, but with a whopping bonus; 100% gluten free cannoli shells, Coeliac Australia approved.
Eat Cannoli provides your traditional cannoli filling favourites made with artful expertise, as well as unique creations from Crème Broulee filling, to Red Velvet, and Passionfruit, with additional vegan options for all sugar seeker’s pleasure. If that isn’t worth travelling across the Yarra for, I don’t know what is. Make a day of it, enjoy a cappuccino, a cannoli, or 5, in their bright and warm café where the magic happens.
285 Brunswick St, Fitzroy VIC 3065, Australia
Naked for Satan is the final boss of rooftop bars in the north, with its spanning views, its sophisticated menu and extensive variety of in house distilled spirits and cocktails.
With its humble beginnings of a bootleg distillery, they’ve joined industrial aesthetics with the sparkle of modern cocktail bar swank. Jump on the elevator and be transported to their stunning rooftop bar, looking out over Fitzroy, to the CBD and beyond. With ample outdoor seating, enjoy a spritz with a side of skies, day or night.
Naked For Satan gets bonus points too, for their downstairs bar special of $12 pizzas every day from 12 pm.
Looking to mix it up?
We’ve got your sorted for choice!
